On How to Track Rejection Like a Pro, Living a Life Worth Living, and Surviving the Dreaded To-Do List
Monday #19 with M
Hi, and welcome to Monday #X with M. Each week, I’ll share some topics I’ve come across recently—an idea, article, or story—that caught my attention. I’ve learned so many interesting things from the people who’ve shared what they’ve found useful, and I consider that an act of kindness. This is my weekly care package to you, filled with fun and/or thoughtful discoveries, and sometimes a bit of venting about the craziness of the world to start your week on a good note.
I’ve chosen the #X format because I sometimes struggle with consistency, and I thought seeing the number grow each week would motivate me to keep going. Let’s get into it!
Spotlight Three
I. From Rejection to Success
If you’re like me and you are barely mustering the courage to get your work published, this post could be very helpful. Fear of rejection is one of those nasty fears in life that prevents us from doing so many things, putting ourselves out there, and going after what our hearts desire. Having a plan in place when you will inevitably face a lot of rejection is a solid move and will get you where you need to be. The only other time I have tried this in my life has been in periods where I was looking for a job. I start a Job Application Tracker and record everything about the process along the way. For many of them, you will never hear a word. For some, you get through one or two stages and never hear back. For some, you get really close to the finish line and you get the email, “We decided to move forward with another applicant,” until finally, you get the one email/call you have been waiting for. The point of this exercise for me has been to keep myself grounded and have tangible proof in front of my eyes that I am trying and I am making progress. I think this publishing process is closely similar to that. There are good options out there as to how to track and what platforms to use for your submissions. If you live in North America, start with Submittable.
II. Stop Chasing Happiness, Start Chasing This List (Your Version)
I read this in Tim Ferris’s newsletter this week, and it struck me as one of the most beautiful self-reflections I have ever encountered. It’s called the Barlow's Principles of Adult Behaviour. I don’t know how much of it is genuine, but I would like to think there could be a point in life where you sit down and deeply consider what kind of person you want to be and how you want to live your life. This list will make perfect sense for such an occasion. These days, I am rereading one of my favourite books of all time, The Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo Tolstoy. It’s a book I can say with certainty that changed the course of my life. It’s about the importance of having a sense of agency in your life and not wasting it by trying to please what society or your environment expects from you, but to find your true self-worth and live a life worth living. I think a moment when you can write a list like this is that moment. These were my favourites:
Tolerate ambiguity.
Laugh at yourself frequently.
Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
Live memorably.
Love yourself.
III. When Your To-Do List Feels Like a Tsunami
There are days in life when you feel like you're drowning. The frequency of these days may differ depending on where you live and what you do for a living. On these days/weeks, there's so much going on around you that you don't know where to start on your to-do list, regardless of whether you have one. As someone who has gone through this many times, I will try to keep these tips from this New York Times article in mind:
Abandon the idea that you’ll ever be all caught up.
“We end our days obsessing over our unchecked boxes instead of celebrating our wins,” said Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist and the author of “Time Wise: Powerful Habits, More Time, Greater Joy.” So Dr. Imber recommended completing the sentence “Today I made progress on … ” at each day’s end. Researchers call this practice of reflecting on our past accomplishments a “savoring intervention,” and they say that it can improve confidence.
Ask yourself: Is this actually urgent?
By attending to what others determine as urgent for us we are often creating a “false deadline.” When this happens, he said, take a beat and ask yourself: Is this actually urgent? Can it wait? Is it urgent to someone else, but not to me?
Consider whether you can bring your B game.
Be alert for those moments when you are needlessly giving it your all and could give, say, 75 percent instead. It’s OK to bring your B game. Even the most successful sports team sometimes send out their B team on the field. Acknowledge that you’re at capacity by clearly saying, ‘I can’t take this on right now.’
Redefine ‘valuable’ time.
Don’t look at downtime as a waste of time. Embrace the mundane and ordinary. Often, some of your happiest memories will be events that are “mundane and ordinary.” If you think about the last time you felt joy, would it be you coming out of the meeting? Or crossing out tasks off of your list? Or would it be the time you spent tending to your kid/pet? Taking a walk? I bet it was something simple.
On a Brief Note
One Task at a Time
As a proper segue, I would like to introduce One Task app. We inevitably have to figure out how to do the tasks on our lists. This "One Task at a Time" idea from this application is a brilliant one because it gives you the ability to tune out the noise, pick ONE task, complete it, and move on to the next. This approach eliminates the need to scroll up and down your list, debating which one to pick. There are many uses for this, even within one major task, where you can break it down into smaller, manageable steps.
Words Worth Sharing
Once you've started, you're halfway there.
An old Latin Proverb
This is it for this week’s edition of Monday #X with M. If something here made you think, smile, or sparked your curiosity, consider sharing it with someone who might enjoy it too. You never know whose day you might brighten with a thoughtful word or idea—it’s a small act of kindness that can go a long way. See you next Monday!
One of the best pieces of advice I got on to-do lists was not to have one. If i ever wanted something to happen, I'd put it in my calendars, not my to-do list.
From Adam Leipzig: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHWFMQ6JWa1/?igsh=bXc0M3RkM25pYnk=